another moral hangover. fuck.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
