My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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