she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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