You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
