But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
