She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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