He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
