It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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