We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
40s are totally the cure
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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