Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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