i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
