quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
