Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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