she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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