Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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