she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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