So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
