every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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