I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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