That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
its liver damage thursday
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
