If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
