Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
