I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
