she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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