Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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