And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
