Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
