Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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