She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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