What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
