If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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