If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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