Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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