We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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