I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
