We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
