My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
