Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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