You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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