why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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