I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
