Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
