Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
