$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Randomize
