Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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