erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
