thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
There's a naked man in my car right now.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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