I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
