She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I am available for nakedness
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
