We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
